by comedywritert
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アメリカに放たれたイレギュラージャパニーズのヤケクソブログ
アメリカ人と結婚してアメリカに移住した友達のブログです!御覧あれ~ 簡単ネットショッピング♪ 格安の超お得商品からハイセンスな逸品まで気軽にお買い物☆ 酒見組 私が参加させていただいているバスケチームのサイトです♪ フォロー中のブログ
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Girls are obsessed with bags. Gucci, Louis Vuitton, CHANEL... Those bags are like 2-3 grands each, and the stupid bitches are purchasing one every 3 months!
I mean, give me a break man! It's a fucking bag! Cheap or expensive, it's still a bag! It's still just a container! How come the container cost much more than my room that contains me? This is crazy! We never understand girls! You know, girls spend so much money to a bag. Guys, we just put stuff in plastic bag. Oh yeah, plastic bag, it's beautiful. It's free! It stretches, and you can put the plastic bag in the plastic bags to make it stronger. Water proof, foldable, and you can even kill somebody with plastic bag. Forgot umbrella? Cut open the plastic bag to make an umbrella! Don't like to wet your shoes? Why don't you wear plastic bags over the shoes? No condom? Well, go get the condom at convenience store. Pack of 6? No sweety, you get 7 now. #
by comedywritert
| 2009-09-08 09:31
| Column
I went to the hospital the other day to see my friend. He was getting a surgery. The hospital was really nice. Very clean and decent. Docotors look very nice, and nurses are young and hot! The quality of the hospital is very high! While the quality of the patients remains the same.
The majority of people hunging out at the hospital are old. You know if you go out to the town, walking down the street, and you see old man walking so slow, you would be like "old man, why don't you just stop walking and take a cab if you can't walk faster than 10cm/min?" But if you go to the hospital, old people look at you like "you young motherfucker. Why don't you just stop being such a fag it and go get a job if you are young enough to be healthy?" Those motherfuckers in the hospital are really old. They are too old, they can't see the difference between being sick and being old. Most of them are just old. Hospital is like a company for old people. You are supposed to go there everyday, except when you are sick. "Ah I'm sorry doctor, I can't go today, I'm sick!" #
by comedywritert
| 2009-03-08 00:23
| Jokes
This is the year 2009 man! Can't believe I'm turning 29 this year! Motherfucking 29 man! When I was younger, a single 29years old guy seems pretty lame. Now I can't stand young people look at me like that.
Nothing is what it looks like. That's why people say you gotta respect older people, 'cause you never be older than you are, so you don't know how it is, but older people know how hard being old is. Nothing is what it looks like. Vegetalian people look kinda gay. They say "oh, I can't eat meat", "Can you get rid of meat part out of this salad?", "Do they hve vegie menu here?" That's right, they all sound totally gay. You don't wanna hang out with those people. But you don't know how being gay... I mean, vegetalian is. You've never been a vegetalian. That might be very hard. Maybe just a drop of meat juice will kill vegetalians. Maybe just smell of meat will make vegetalians sick. Maybe just looking at people eating meat will drive vegetalians crazy. Who knows. So, yeah, you gotta respect vegetalian people as well... Except... BIG, TALL, and FAT ASS vegetalian!! Motherfucker, what the hell have you eaten to be grown like this? "Oh I'm vegetalian."?? What, only in the morning? Or you consider pork as vegetable with fat or something? #
by comedywritert
| 2009-01-02 13:49
| Column
I love Disneyland! Have you been to Disneyland? Of course you have. It's like a fantasy world! It's a dream world! Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Winnie the Pooh, Cinderella, Snow White, Minnie Mouse... It's a dream world!! Mickey Mouse is jacking off beside us and shit "Ah Minnie. Ah, ah, ahhh!"
Actually I went to Disneyland last Sunday. It was great! I had so much fun! Especially I enjoyed Splash Mountain! I think it's the best ride in Disneyland! You know how it is right? The ride slides down to the water fall, annd splaaaash!!!! It's really exciting!!! I love it! I also love the fact that I had to wait for 3 hours. 3 fucking hours for just a 3 minutes ride!! Fuck! That's crazy! You can't enjoy the ride after 3 hours of waiting! 'cause you are too busy to enjoy the chair! You are like "Ah,,,, it's so relaxing... Oh..." SPLASH!!!! "Wooow!! ... Damn!!! Fuck... Do I have to stand up again?" I love it! After enjoying Splash mountain, I saw people hunging around and smoking. I was like "Oh hell no!! It's too real, it's too real!!" So of course I joined them. "Are you real human? Alright, give me a light man." Then one of real motherfuckers start talking like "Man, ain't the It's a small world gay?" I was like "Oh, oh, oh, don't say that!! We all know it's kinda gay!! It'a a dream world!! The gaier the better!!" "Man, food here is kinda expensive in here.." "Hey hey!! Don't say that! It's not kind of expensive. It'a fucking expensive!! Look at the food, it's not food! It's Mickey Mouse food! Of course it's expensive!!" "Hey, you remember Disneyland used to have Michael Jackson attrantion?" "Hold hold hold! It's a taboo! It's a taboo!! That's the only time Disneyland crossed the border man. Used a real motherfucker in a attraction! Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Winnie the Pooh and Michael Jackson! How gay is that shit!?" #
by comedywritert
| 2008-10-31 01:08
| Jokes
I'm at Haneda airport now to pick up someone. Airport is nice. It's clean, people are either happy to leave Japan or happy to get to Japan. The only unhappy people are either someone seeing others off or someone picking up someone.
You know how sad we get when we see someone off at the airport? You might say leaving is hard, but you got whole a lot of fun stuff waiting for you wherever you go. Meanwhile, us, the main purpose was seeing you off have nothing more than that here, and all we got is loneliness after saying really emotional and cheering good-bye to you. Picking up kind of sucks too. After hours of plane ride usually killing people who are coming back. And they come back with whole a lot of heavy stuff for some reason. So our duty is not only giving them the warmest welcome but also carrying heavy ass shit while tired ass buddy is sleeping beside yoou. Well, I gotta go to the gate and pick up the heavy shit now ;) #
by comedywritert
| 2008-10-13 19:50
| Column
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