by comedywritert
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I was at Mcdonald's one day, doing little work with my laptop for about 3-4 hours. There were 2 ladies behind me, talking, all the fucking time. Non stop! I have to admit, but I was really impressed! Gusy never talk like that when we are sober.
They were like, "I cannot hold boyfriends longer than a month! They just dump me! Why is that!? Am I not attractive?" The other girl was like "No way! You ARE attractive! That must be guys problem! They can't see how attractive you are!" "But I'm not very young any more! Guys might like younger ones..." "No way, you are not old! You still 24!" "But 24 is old enough... Ah, I will be talking like this even after I turn 30..." "No way, you are not. You will find good one soon" "But I cannot hold my boyfriends longer than a month now..." About 30 minutes later, I could guess the next lines. Eventually the ladies are gone, and another couple of ladies sat there. They started talking about the boyfriend of one of them. "I cannot hold boyfriends longer than a month!" Hey hey hey! Is that the popular line to srat the conversation now!? You must be 24 years old, aren't you? #
by comedywritert
| 2010-09-06 21:38
| Jokes
I love Indian people! Because they don't make fucking sense!
One of my Indian fellows talked to me one day, like "I love Takuya Kimura (one of the most popular Japanese celebrity)! I'm big fan of him!" Just to let you know, the fellow has a dick. Anyway, I was like "Ah, cool" (Fucking gay!) He gets excited and shit just talking about him. "He's very talented, good actor and good singer!" I was like "Alright... (Take it easy fag)... So you must be a fan of SMAP (A very famouse group the guy is belonging to) huh?" He was like "Huh? What the heck is SMAP?" "Wait a momen, do not tell me you don't know SMAP!?" "No, what is it? Is it delicious?" I mean, come on man! How the fuck could you know Takuya Kimura without knowing SMAP!? This is fucking ridiculous! Would you know Michael Jackson without knowing Jackson five!? Would you know Justin Timberlake without knowing 'N Sync!? Would you know Michael Jordan without knowing Chicago Bulls!? Would you know Barack Obama without knowing Unted States of America!? God!! #
by comedywritert
| 2009-12-10 23:05
| Jokes
After you see an American ghetto movie, like gangsters fight each other, shoot each other, kill each other, screaming like "Fucking punk!" "Fuck you motherfucker!" "I'm gonna fucking kill you!!" Shit, it's scary. I've never been involved in such a conversation. I would be piss in my pants. I'm glad I'm in Japan.
You might be thingking Japan is safe. Actually Japan is safe, because we don't have so many angry people. We are calm and quiet. We can see ourselves objectively. Even if some fucked up shit happened to us, we are like "OK, shit happens." and let it go. As long as you stay away from rush hour train in the morning. In the rush hour, we become totally different people. We look the same nice Japanese salary men, wearing suit and tie and shit, but if you accidentaly and slightly bump your shoulder to us, even if you apology we ain't let you go alive. "What the fuck is your problem man! You hit me! Come here bitch! I'm gonna kill you motherfucker! This is my hood! Fuck you!" Try kick our butts from our back few hours after the rush hour. We will be like "Hey, nice kick! Haha, shit happens!" #
by comedywritert
| 2009-12-06 02:31
| Column
I went to see a live show by Japanese male duo band last weekend. They are very famous and popular. Even I sing their songs at Karaoke all the time. They got 10,000 fans at a hall, and most of them are girls, of course! I felt like I was alone in women's bathroom! which doesn't make me feel bad at all.
Anyways, the live show goes off! Lights flashing! Exciting music! Very very good songs! Funny talking and emotional message! Fans are gone crazy and wild too! Screaming, "Ahhhhhhhh, I love you!!!!" shaking bodies, and even crying! "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!" I was like "Eeew, take it easy" The duo band sings and dances, running around the hall. They got sweat all over their bodies, fans at the front seat must have got their sweat drop on their faces, and lick it off. And at the end of the live show, after they sang the last song, one of the band guy, his emotinal feeling got to the peak. "Thank you very much! Thank you! You are the best fans ever! I love you!!" Then he threw his towel he had been wearing during the entire show into the arena. Of course, fans gone crazy, trying to grab it, they are like Denis Rodman, boxing out and shit. I thought they would kill each other. Then one lady got his towel. Her hair messed up, glasses were broken, clothes tore, blues and scratches on her face. But she got it! Great!! But it's just a towel for god sake! Actually it's even worse. It's a used towel! He's been wearing this entire show, I think you can squeeze his sweat out of the towel! What the hell are you gonna do with the towel? Are you gonna keep the towel as the way it is? No lady, it's gonna smell like a dead musician by tomorrow morning! #
by comedywritert
| 2009-12-03 09:41
| Jokes
It's December now. The year 2009 is almost done, and the year 2010 is coming up.
Fuck, I'm almost 30! I used to complain about having a "Gokon" party with 30 years old ladies back in the days, but now I'll be the one to be complained. Fuck, I'm almost 30! My salary is less than what I used to get when I was 25! Fuck, I'm almost 30! My niece is graduuating junior high school soon! Fuck, I'm almost 30! I'll be saying "Fuck, I'm almost 40" 10 years later. Well, enough talking shit about the length of my life. It's good thing to live longer, I should be glad to be 30, if this 30 years of my life deserves to be. It could have been better, you might say so. I'm saying to myself all the damn time, but I have been making choices, believing they were the best choices, with knowing there could be a better way. Always excusing myself with the list of reasons why I can't do better than that. It cannot be helped... Anyways... For the time being... My favorite words. And that explains my life very well. Excusing, postponing... I don't remember how many times I have said that I have to change. But I should not be afraid of saying so again. So I say it again! Fuck my life so far! How could you be like that!? Slacking school, smoking pod, bad drinking behaviour, inconsistency to any activities, inconsiderate attitude to others... Die motherfucker! Die! OK, now I'm new. Haha, look at you! How pathetic! I'm glad I'm not you! #
by comedywritert
| 2009-12-02 09:35
| Column
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