I went to an English school to take a look at. Am I interested in going to the school? Hell no! The reason I went there is because I wanted to do some research. You know, since I'm gonna start working at an English school, I wanted to see how other school staff explain about their service, or how they persuade me to actually join the school. It's not a very nice thing to do, but oh well, the school was pretty empty and they all look bored, so they should be glad about me coming to school and have nice conversation.
So I went up to the front, a lady was there, gave me a nice middle of 30 years old smile, like "may I help you?", then I said I was interested in learning English. She's like "OK, please come to a room. I'm ging to explain about this school", and we both went to a room. The first question she asked me was how good my English is. I said "I haven't really studied English since I graduated high school. I've never been abroad, and I don't have any qualification of English."
I just wanted to see how they treat people like that. So yeah, I was lying. What the fuck. Then she asked "why do you want to learn English?" I said I was planing to go to New York next month. She goes "oh New York! How nice!" And talked about exciting experience when she went to New York in ancient time. I was like "alright bitch. Come on. Move on".
Suddenly a bell rings which tells a lesson ends, and the lady said "nice timing. I'm gonna bring a teacher here and make him do a level check for you." A level check!? Wait!? Does it mean he's gonna make me speak English!? I was freaked out! Shit, I gotta speak really shitty English! "Excuse me, ah, I'm not very familiar with talking in English. I'm not prepared yet..." but she goes "It's gonna be OK. Please wait". And left. I was like "Oh god..."
Few minutes later, a guy came in. He's like "Hi, my name is (whatever I forgot). How are you doing today?" I was all smiling and just kept nodding. He goes on no matter what. "What is your name?" I was like "Ah, ah, m-y, na-me, is T", he smiles back to me and say "Oh, great! T, nice to meet you! You are wearing nice T shirt! You like hip hop?" I thought it was kind of long sentence and it would be weird if I could answer the question right away, so I was like "T shir-t? Hip-Hop?" He's like "Yeah, eminem? Dr. Dre?" Even he start not using grammatical sentences. Just kept saying words and words. I was like "Eminem! Yes yes!"
He's like "Alright, let's take a look at a text book we are using in a lesson. Let's see, here, can you look at this picture? Is it late or early?" The picture has a guy in suit sitting at a desk working in an office and a lady who's trying to talk to the guy. There's a window, and you can see stars on dark sky out of the window. So the answer of the question has to be "late", but I took time and pretend to think about the question. "Late? Early? hmmmm... late?" He's like "great!! That's correct!" Just like a damn Berlitz commercial on Yamanote line. Then he asked another question. "Why is he working late?" I was like "motherfucker, who the fuck knows why he's working late!? Maybe he's been slacking because he's talking to the bitch?" But of course I didn't say that. I said "He... busy?" And he was like "Good guess, but the correct answer is 'because he has to finish a report by tomorrow'". Motherfucker! How the fuck should I know he has to finish the report by tomorrow!?!? Even if I was a Native English speaker, I could not guess that damn answer!
Then, suddenly he start talking in Japanese. "Thank you very much for today. You need to work on listning first, then try to speak with correct grammer. You need to get used to talk in English. Otherwise, you'll have a lot of trouble when you travel abroad." I was like "Yes, right, yeah, uh-huh, right..." Then when I went out of the school, I shout in English like
"Thanks for the lesson today! Oh look! I can speak English!!! Thanks for your short lesson, now I'm fluent! Oh my god!!"