I was at Mcdonald's one day, doing little work with my laptop for about 3-4 hours. There were 2 ladies behind me, talking, all the fucking time. Non stop! I have to admit, but I was really impressed! Gusy never talk like that when we are sober.
They were like,
"I cannot hold boyfriends longer than a month! They just dump me! Why is that!? Am I not attractive?"
The other girl was like
"No way! You ARE attractive! That must be guys problem! They can't see how attractive you are!"
"But I'm not very young any more! Guys might like younger ones..."
"No way, you are not old! You still 24!"
"But 24 is old enough... Ah, I will be talking like this even after I turn 30..."
"No way, you are not. You will find good one soon"
"But I cannot hold my boyfriends longer than a month now..."
About 30 minutes later, I could guess the next lines.
Eventually the ladies are gone, and another couple of ladies sat there. They started talking about the boyfriend of one of them.
"I cannot hold boyfriends longer than a month!"
Hey hey hey! Is that the popular line to srat the conversation now!? You must be 24 years old, aren't you?
I love Indian people! Because they don't make fucking sense!
One of my Indian fellows talked to me one day, like
"I love Takuya Kimura (one of the most popular Japanese celebrity)! I'm big fan of him!"
Just to let you know, the fellow has a dick.
Anyway, I was like "Ah, cool" (Fucking gay!)
He gets excited and shit just talking about him.
"He's very talented, good actor and good singer!"
I was like "Alright... (Take it easy fag)... So you must be a fan of SMAP (A very famouse group the guy is belonging to) huh?"
He was like "Huh? What the heck is SMAP?"
"Wait a momen, do not tell me you don't know SMAP!?"
"No, what is it? Is it delicious?"
I mean, come on man! How the fuck could you know Takuya Kimura without knowing SMAP!? This is fucking ridiculous! Would you know Michael Jackson without knowing Jackson five!? Would you know Justin Timberlake without knowing 'N Sync!? Would you know Michael Jordan without knowing Chicago Bulls!? Would you know Barack Obama without knowing Unted States of America!? God!!
After you see an American ghetto movie, like gangsters fight each other, shoot each other, kill each other, screaming like "Fucking punk!" "Fuck you motherfucker!" "I'm gonna fucking kill you!!" Shit, it's scary. I've never been involved in such a conversation. I would be piss in my pants. I'm glad I'm in Japan.
You might be thingking Japan is safe. Actually Japan is safe, because we don't have so many angry people. We are calm and quiet. We can see ourselves objectively. Even if some fucked up shit happened to us, we are like "OK, shit happens." and let it go.
As long as you stay away from rush hour train in the morning.
In the rush hour, we become totally different people. We look the same nice Japanese salary men, wearing suit and tie and shit, but if you accidentaly and slightly bump your shoulder to us, even if you apology we ain't let you go alive.
"What the fuck is your problem man! You hit me! Come here bitch! I'm gonna kill you motherfucker! This is my hood! Fuck you!"
Try kick our butts from our back few hours after the rush hour. We will be like "Hey, nice kick! Haha, shit happens!"
I went to see a live show by Japanese male duo band last weekend. They are very famous and popular. Even I sing their songs at Karaoke all the time. They got 10,000 fans at a hall, and most of them are girls, of course! I felt like I was alone in women's bathroom! which doesn't make me feel bad at all.
Anyways, the live show goes off! Lights flashing! Exciting music! Very very good songs! Funny talking and emotional message! Fans are gone crazy and wild too! Screaming, "Ahhhhhhhh, I love you!!!!"
and even crying! "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!"
I was like "Eeew, take it easy"
The duo band sings and dances, running around the hall. They got sweat all over their bodies, fans at the front seat must have got their sweat drop on their faces, and lick it off.
And at the end of the live show, after they sang the last song, one of the band guy, his emotinal feeling got to the peak.
"Thank you very much! Thank you! You are the best fans ever! I love you!!"
Then he threw his towel he had been wearing during the entire show into the arena. Of course, fans gone crazy, trying to grab it, they are like Denis Rodman, boxing out and shit. I thought they would kill each other.
Then one lady got his towel. Her hair messed up, glasses were broken, clothes tore, blues and scratches on her face. But she got it! Great!!
But it's just a towel for god sake! Actually it's even worse. It's a used towel! He's been wearing this entire show, I think you can squeeze his sweat out of the towel! What the hell are you gonna do with the towel? Are you gonna keep the towel as the way it is? No lady, it's gonna smell like a dead musician by tomorrow morning!
It's December now. The year 2009 is almost done, and the year 2010 is coming up.
Fuck, I'm almost 30! I used to complain about having a "Gokon" party with 30 years old ladies back in the days, but now I'll be the one to be complained.
Fuck, I'm almost 30! My salary is less than what I used to get when I was 25!
Fuck, I'm almost 30! My niece is graduuating junior high school soon!
Fuck, I'm almost 30! I'll be saying "Fuck, I'm almost 40" 10 years later.
Well, enough talking shit about the length of my life. It's good thing to live longer, I should be glad to be 30, if this 30 years of my life deserves to be. It could have been better, you might say so. I'm saying to myself all the damn time, but I have been making choices, believing they were the best choices, with knowing there could be a better way. Always excusing myself with the list of reasons why I can't do better than that.
It cannot be helped...
For the time being...
My favorite words. And that explains my life very well. Excusing, postponing...
I don't remember how many times I have said that I have to change. But I should not be afraid of saying so again. So I say it again!
Fuck my life so far! How could you be like that!? Slacking school, smoking pod, bad drinking behaviour, inconsistency to any activities, inconsiderate attitude to others... Die motherfucker! Die!
OK, now I'm new.
Haha, look at you! How pathetic! I'm glad I'm not you!
Girls are obsessed with bags. Gucci, Louis Vuitton, CHANEL... Those bags are like 2-3 grands each, and the stupid bitches are purchasing one every 3 months!
I mean, give me a break man! It's a fucking bag! Cheap or expensive, it's still a bag! It's still just a container! How come the container cost much more than my room that contains me?
This is crazy! We never understand girls! You know, girls spend so much money to a bag. Guys, we just put stuff in plastic bag. Oh yeah, plastic bag, it's beautiful. It's free! It stretches, and you can put the plastic bag in the plastic bags to make it stronger. Water proof, foldable, and you can even kill somebody with plastic bag.
Forgot umbrella? Cut open the plastic bag to make an umbrella!
Don't like to wet your shoes? Why don't you wear plastic bags over the shoes?
No condom? Well, go get the condom at convenience store. Pack of 6? No sweety, you get 7 now.
I went to the hospital the other day to see my friend. He was getting a surgery. The hospital was really nice. Very clean and decent. Docotors look very nice, and nurses are young and hot! The quality of the hospital is very high! While the quality of the patients remains the same.
The majority of people hunging out at the hospital are old. You know if you go out to the town, walking down the street, and you see old man walking so slow, you would be like "old man, why don't you just stop walking and take a cab if you can't walk faster than 10cm/min?"
But if you go to the hospital, old people look at you like "you young motherfucker. Why don't you just stop being such a fag it and go get a job if you are young enough to be healthy?"
Those motherfuckers in the hospital are really old. They are too old, they can't see the difference between being sick and being old. Most of them are just old. Hospital is like a company for old people. You are supposed to go there everyday, except when you are sick. "Ah I'm sorry doctor, I can't go today, I'm sick!"
This is the year 2009 man! Can't believe I'm turning 29 this year! Motherfucking 29 man! When I was younger, a single 29years old guy seems pretty lame. Now I can't stand young people look at me like that.
Nothing is what it looks like. That's why people say you gotta respect older people, 'cause you never be older than you are, so you don't know how it is, but older people know how hard being old is.
Nothing is what it looks like. Vegetalian people look kinda gay. They say "oh, I can't eat meat", "Can you get rid of meat part out of this salad?", "Do they hve vegie menu here?"
That's right, they all sound totally gay. You don't wanna hang out with those people. But you don't know how being gay... I mean, vegetalian is. You've never been a vegetalian. That might be very hard.
Maybe just a drop of meat juice will kill vegetalians.
Maybe just smell of meat will make vegetalians sick.
Maybe just looking at people eating meat will drive vegetalians crazy.
Who knows. So, yeah, you gotta respect vegetalian people as well...
BIG, TALL, and FAT ASS vegetalian!! Motherfucker, what the hell have you eaten to be grown like this? "Oh I'm vegetalian."?? What, only in the morning? Or you consider pork as vegetable with fat or something?
I love Disneyland! Have you been to Disneyland? Of course you have. It's like a fantasy world! It's a dream world! Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Winnie the Pooh, Cinderella, Snow White, Minnie Mouse... It's a dream world!! Mickey Mouse is jacking off beside us and shit "Ah Minnie. Ah, ah, ahhh!"
Actually I went to Disneyland last Sunday. It was great! I had so much fun! Especially I enjoyed Splash Mountain! I think it's the best ride in Disneyland! You know how it is right? The ride slides down to the water fall, annd splaaaash!!!! It's really exciting!!! I love it!
I also love the fact that I had to wait for 3 hours. 3 fucking hours for just a 3 minutes ride!! Fuck! That's crazy! You can't enjoy the ride after 3 hours of waiting! 'cause you are too busy to enjoy the chair! You are like "Ah,,,, it's so relaxing... Oh..."
"Wooow!! ... Damn!!! Fuck... Do I have to stand up again?"
I love it!
After enjoying Splash mountain, I saw people hunging around and smoking. I was like "Oh hell no!! It's too real, it's too real!!"
So of course I joined them. "Are you real human? Alright, give me a light man."
Then one of real motherfuckers start talking like
"Man, ain't the It's a small world gay?"
I was like "Oh, oh, oh, don't say that!! We all know it's kinda gay!! It'a a dream world!! The gaier the better!!"
"Man, food here is kinda expensive in here.."
"Hey hey!! Don't say that! It's not kind of expensive. It'a fucking expensive!! Look at the food, it's not food! It's Mickey Mouse food! Of course it's expensive!!"
"Hey, you remember Disneyland used to have Michael Jackson attrantion?"
"Hold hold hold! It's a taboo! It's a taboo!! That's the only time Disneyland crossed the border man. Used a real motherfucker in a attraction! Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Winnie the Pooh and Michael Jackson! How gay is that shit!?"
I'm at Haneda airport now to pick up someone. Airport is nice. It's clean, people are either happy to leave Japan or happy to get to Japan. The only unhappy people are either someone seeing others off or someone picking up someone.
You know how sad we get when we see someone off at the airport? You might say leaving is hard, but you got whole a lot of fun stuff waiting for you wherever you go. Meanwhile, us, the main purpose was seeing you off have nothing more than that here, and all we got is loneliness after saying really emotional and cheering good-bye to you.
Picking up kind of sucks too. After hours of plane ride usually killing people who are coming back. And they come back with whole a lot of heavy stuff for some reason. So our duty is not only giving them the warmest welcome but also carrying heavy ass shit while tired ass buddy is sleeping beside yoou.
Well, I gotta go to the gate and pick up the heavy shit now ;)